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Did you know there are two types of “Summer Melt”? Why and how to avoid.
Very disturbing to watch happen…
The term “Summer Melting” is when a student is admitted to a college, accepts the offer but doesn’t show up. It is always disheartening to hear, especially when it’s avoidable.
Did you know there are two types of “Summer Melt”? “Melting” is used to label these different scenarios:
FIRST DEFINITION – MELTING DUE TO LOW SELF-CONFIDENCE OR SURVIVOR’S REMORSE: First-generation students (first to attend college in their family), low–income students and students who do not encounter many college grads in their lives experience this type of melt the most. The feelings often have no basis except in their own anxiety. There are feelings of guilt, pessimism and/or defeat before even getting into “battle”. They worry about being the “only one” of whomever they are. They let doubtful remarks made by insecure, jealous people get under their skin. After–all, the people who are more typical to be in that college must know better, yes? NO!
The insecure will look for a last-minute reason not to attend college. They think not going will avoid pain. But what about the pain of not attempting to accomplish a goal? It’s a dream that they-themselves defer!
Can that Melting be Stopped: yes, it can be overcome, either by the student recognizing what they are doing to themselves and/or by sharing their fears with a trusted adult and getting help to work through it. They should seek out alumni and older students who share their background. TALK TO PEOPLE; DON’T KEEP IT INSIDE! It is so important that they face their hesitation BEFORE heading to college so that they walk onto campus confident, ready to face anything and feeling that they belong.
The college wouldn’t offer them a seat if it did not want them to come; it’s time-consuming for hard-working admissions officials to sort through applications and it’s expensive to lose and may not be able to replace a student who suddenly doesn’t show up. These melting students must not let IMPOSTER SYNDROME get them.
Once they’re on campus, do not stew in your juices alone; find people who help and don’t hinder. They should join groups on campus or in town that can be a safe space, where they can comfortably “be themselves”. Or, take initiative and start a group or activity! Build self-confidence and leadership skills that can make them successful in their future career while helping themselves and others in school.
SUGGESTION: repeat it and believe this: “Yes! I DO belong here!”
SECOND DEFINITION – MELTING DUE TO LACK OF FINANCIAL PLANNING: Quite a few students accept a college offer but realize just before move-in day that they cannot afford the cost to attend college. This type of melt not only affects first-generation and low–income students; students ready to pay part of the costs often melt, too.
These students usually don’t understand their acceptance package’s financial aid report. Or they become really set on attending because the college is “perfect”, no other school comes close to being as dreamy and they think it will all work out, because it’s the dream school. Or, they are just bad at math. Unfortunately, if the gap is too big, the student will not be able to attend that school.
Can that Melting be Stopped: depends on when they realize they can’t pay, and how big the gap is. The closer to Move-In Day that it happens, the more difficult it’ll be to figure out how to fill the gap. Scholarship deadlines have likely passed. If they work, they should check if there’s an employer scholarship fund. Beware loans beyond the government student and government ParentPlus loans; private bank loans add up and require parents to put their credit in peril. It’s not worth losing the family home, either! Best bet is to contact the college to ask for more grants and arrange a payment plan. HOWEVER, these strategies will only work if amount owed can be realistically met. Melt alert!
SUGGESTION: Plan ahead, keep eyes open. The students who almost melt but manage to make it to school as freshmen will have to go through this precarious ordeal again in sophomore year if they don’t prepare. Strategy for the next year must begin the night of freshmen move-in day, at the latest.
WHAT CAN YOUNGER HIGH SCHOOLERS GAIN BY LEARNING ABOUT THESE SCENARIOS: Students and parents need more guidance in the college application and financial aid process but often they don’t receive it in a timely fashion. They must select a list of schools wisely, taking into account the family budget and the schools’ budget. A famous school name or rumor of generous financial aid does not mean that all students qualify for that financial aid.
Every summer, students are unnecessarily devastated upon finding out that they can’t go to college. It can happen to anyone who doesn’t have good advisors. It can end in heartbreak. Our “Talking College Search” course includes real-life scenarios, including one about a student who almost didn’t get to go to college. Learn how to make realistic decisions for education that will have lasting impact on your future. Get lifetime access to this three hour online course with bonus workbook for less than the cost of an application fee!
What vaccinations do freshmen need before stepping on campus?
Even before the 2020 pandemic, entering freshmen in colleges and trade schools have been expected to be up–to–date on immunizations. Students will not be allowed in class in most schools. Campus environments are intimate and turn into incubators quickly. So students must send proof of the mumps, MMR and tetanus DTP boosters.
It’s also recommended to receive the Meningitis B vaccine; many campuses experience a Meningitis B outbreak each year, and that strain can be deadly. The Meningitis B vaccine is usually a two-parter, so make doctor appointments now so that there is time to take the second one before moving on campus.
Keep yourself, your classmates, older professors and the entire school healthy! Semesters are short; don’t miss a day of classes!
If there are too many schools to see, try to take advantage of the offer of the high school’s organized trips. Counselors and teachers will escort students on bus trips to several schools, either a long day trip or one or two nights. If parents don’t have time or a way to do the trips themselves, the student should go with their classmates. If the high school doesn’t have plans, get the PTA to petition to organize some trips. Also consider paying more than the cost of the trip as a contribution towards a ticket for a classmate whose family can’t afford the full price. The reward is seeing a child go on the trip, find their best fit college and go on to have a career that brings in a higher income. They’ll pay it forward when it’s their turn…
Do you parents sometimes feel your child is considering schools far away enough so just so that you can’t start a PTA at them? There are better ways to select schools that are good fits; take the “Talking College Search” course at https://goodapples.teachable.com
Ron Brown Scholar Program awards $10,000 each year for four years to economically-disadvantaged high school seniors of African descent who demonstrate a keen interest in public service, community engagement, business entrepreneurship and global citizenship. This is a great opportunity for qualifying students who have very high grades and test scores. Students chosen for these scholarships are very impressive: more than half of the Scholars end up attending Ivy League universities.
Ron Brown Scholar Program was established in honor of the late Ronald H. Brown, an attorney who worked for Senator Ted Kennedy, then as Chairman of the Democratic National Committee, and finally as Secretary of Commerce for President Bill Clinton. It was while serving in President Clinton’s cabinet that Brown perished in an airplane crash while on a mission to Eastern Europe.
According to the website, recipients may use the renewable scholarships to attend an accredited four-year college or university of their choice within the United States. Ron Brown scholarships are not limited to any specific field or career objective and may be used to pursue any academic discipline. Since the Program’s inception in 1996, more than 300 students have been designated as Ron Brown Scholars.
Must be Black/African American.
Must excel academically.
Must exhibit exceptional leadership potential.
Must participate in community service activities.
Demonstrate financial need.
Be a US citizen or hold a permanent resident visa card.
Be a current high school senior at the time of your application. Current college students are NOT eligible to apply.
NOTE: this scholarship is one of the few that requires a paper application to be MAILED! So make sure your materials, recommendations, test scores etc are all ready BEFORE Thanksgiving so that the package arrives in the RBSP office in plenty of time to be considered.
Warning to Parents: Privacy Laws Keep Parents in the Dark
This policy of not letting parents see grades and not allowing parents to talk to administrators is imbecilic— especially with the financial investment. So what that the students are 18+?
Most parents will always care about their “babies”.
If high graduation rates and successful college grads provide good public relations for a college, why do they resist parent involvement in making it happen? Only if the student signs privacy releases:
Want to pay tuition through the school’s online portal? The student has to sign a Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act Release (FERPA). Otherwise, parents would have no idea if there are new outstanding charges, or if a loan needs another step. Some students misunderstand or ignore flags on their accounts until they’re threatened with being asked to leave school!
Depending on the school, the FERPA may also enable parents to view students’ grades. Unless a parent has due cause, don’t go crazy with checking the college transcript. Parents ought to give the student some space. Keep a closer eye if the student’s scholarship is dependent on keeping up a certain average. If a student is experiencing severe anxiety and might begin to skip class, for sure it’s advantageous to have the FERPA signed before trouble starts.
Student falls ill? Better have a Durable Power of Attorney, Healthcare Proxy and Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act authorization (HIPAA). The college doesn’t have to notify the parent, nor does the hospital. Hospital staff are not allowed reveal medical status nor consult parents about treatment unless the paperwork is in order.
Trouble with a professor, administration or the dorm? Out of luck. Colleges do not want to talk to parents. Professors, depending on their personality and patience level, will decline to answer questions politely or rudely. Roommates violate dorm policy and the student gets in trouble, too? Parents can’t defend the innocent student. Reminding the college as to who pays the tuition bill will not result even in a bat of the eye. The student will have to be on the phone with the parent and the school staff, and give specific instructions that the parent be allowed to speak.
This applies to students who’ve reached their 18th birthday. Parents still have input with the affairs of younger college students. Relish the access for those few months…
Dorm Packing Supply List for Incoming Freshmen Part III
Another Dorm Essentials Packing Article You Need to Read. Because you never know: it could be you.
A student may have to leave their dorm in an emergency.
Or leave campus.
Or they might have to lockdown in their dorm.
Well, lockdowns are distressing enough… and then you add 2020…
Evolution of the College “Go” Bag: The purpose of the pre-2020 Go-Bag was to get a student through a scenario that would cut electricity, or force a student to flee due to a weather event or building structure failure. Or hideout due to a criminal presence or other heightened military alerts.
New Go-Bags also prepare for a student having to leave their dorm and isolate in another location for medical reasons. Or be quarantined in their room. And don’t forget if the sick student stays, the healthy roommate(s) must go. Diagnosis can come fast, leaving a student unable to go shopping for essentials.
What to pack now?
Pre-2020 Go-Bag
Backpack or bag that contains emergency items
Prescription Medications
Flashlight (and extra batteries)
Cell phone Charge Cord and Portable Charger (these should never leave the bag, so take good care of your everyday chargers!)
Phone Earphones (again, not for daily use, so they don’t even have to be the cool earphones. Just make sure they fit your phone.)
Printout of Key Contact Information: phone numbers and emails of doctors, parents and other key relatives, roommates and roommates’ parents.
List of Medical Conditions, including allergies and current prescriptions
Hand Sanitizer
Rubber Gloves
Clean Zip-loc Baggies of various sizes (include some large baggies to store soiled items)
Bandages
Anti-Bacterial Ointment
Alcohol Pads
Painkillers Acetaminophen or Ibuoprofen (example: aka Tylenol and Motrin)
Thermometer (with extra batteries)
Facial Tissues
Toilet Paper (small roll, flattened to fit in the backpack) enclosed in a baggie
Pocket-sized Comb and Scrunchies
Feminine Hygiene Products
Toothpaste and Toothbrush (you may not have time to get the one you use — or it may be infected)
Travel-sized Toiletries: shampoo, soap, lotion
Snack Bars: a week’s worth is good (check expiration dates before packing and plan to switch out fresh ones as needed each semester)
A few changes of Socks, Underwear, Pajamas, soft comfy Pants and a couple of T-Shirts
Blanket: either a fleece throw or a stadium blanket like this one. Stadium blankets can also be used as a cape with a hood and fold into a small portable size:
Post 2020: New Additions to That College Go-Bag
Extra Face Masks
Playing Cards
WordSearch/Sodoku/Crossword Puzzle Book(s): days will be long, especially without electricity!
Electrolyte Powder to put in water (example: Pedialyte, Gatorade, Propel, Emergen-C, Ultima Replenisher)
Cough and Cold Medicine (example: Robitussin, Mucinex)
Cold and Flu Syrup (example: NyQuil and DayQuil)
Zinc Lozenges
Vitamin C Mega Dose tablets
Anti-Nausea Medicine (example: Pepto Bismol)
Anti-Diarrheal Medicine (example: Kaopectate)
Nothing is certain, so it’s best to prepare in advance for difficult times and hope that you never have to use the Go Bag!
Dorm Packing Supply List for Incoming Freshmen Part II
Time to complain and whine a bit. We’ve observed over the years that so many items that freshmen bring to dorms never get used, never get pulled out the plastic bin or shipping box. Be careful with impulse buys. Not the time to channel Martha Stewart or HGTV to decorate!
First, we recommend you get measurements of your room and watch videos of students with your room layout. Then you’ll realize you probably have a lot of what you need at home already. Or, you can concentrate on getting used to being in college and move in with just the basics needed every day and build on it after Christmas break. Strongly recommend keeping the room on the simple side the first fall semester. Concentrate on toiletries and weather-appropriate clothing. But again, you won’t need as many outfits as you think, especially if it’s easy to do laundry. Please make roommates and parents happy: do laundry on a regular schedule…
The list below is really big, too bulky for most cars. So what to do? There are two options:
1) Order and pick it up from the Store close to the college.
2) Order online and have it Shipped to school.
TAKE NOTE: be sure to get the proper delivery address for campus. It may not be your dorm, “John Quincy Adams Hall, Room 202”. Know before ordering so that a student doesn’t have to wander through all the campus looking for their mail.
You definitely need a set of Twin XL sheets (double check with your dorm as to bed size; most dorm beds are Twin XL). Some kids get two sets but never open one package; they just wash the one set over and put it back on the bed. Best practice would be to put a fresh set of sheets on the bed while washing the dirty ones. That saves a lot of energy and time.
Egg Crate Mattress Topper helps to feel cozy and have a soft place to land, because those mattresses are not meant for comfort; they’re meant to last. Twin size will fit; make it flush with the foot of the bed and short it at the head.
Bedbug/Waterproof Mattress Enclosure. Twin XL size. The schools provide a mattress that’s been used before. The college will also charge if it’s damaged.
Comforter (one with a removable duvet cover for washing is better, especially if guests sit on the bed)
Pillows: bring two pillows plus…
Zip-On Pillow Protector Covers, mite/bedbug/waterproof covers will prolong your pillows’ lives…
Wedge Backrest Pillow for sitting upright in the bed to study and watch tv. Something like this:
Comes in many colors!
For Your Room:
Power strips, preferably with a longer cord. Recommend one for each wall that has an outlet.
Bending features make it easier to put in plugs of different sizes!
Flashlight (and batteries)
Microwaveable but not breakable plates and cups (save the trees)
Refrigerators: Check to see if schools provide a mini-fridge; if not, discuss with the roommate as to who will bring one. Fridges are good to have for medications, leftover takeout, beverages, and science experiments (please label and wrap experiments well to avoid contaminating other objects in the fridge!).
Box or Standing Fan (air conditioners are a rare luxury in older dorms)
Clip-on Fan to attach to the bed.
Lamp that can be clipped anywhere and also can sit on a desk.
Family pictures and Posters to put up with poster tape (Again measuring the amount of free open wall is key)
Shower Shoes you can probably get buy with cheap flip flops from Old Navy. They MUST be worn every visit to the share restrooms and showers; otherwise students can come home with fungi infections on their feet that take months to get rid of!
Safe (can fit medications, passports, emergency cash, house keys etc).
Clothing Steamer for dorms that don’t allow irons. Less of a fire hazard than irons and one that has an auto shut-off for the absent minded would be best.
Mini Fridge Refrigerator Caddy that provides storage pockets down the side of the small fridges. Must take advantage of any space you can!
Bedside Shelf if you want a flat surface while lying on the bed. Good to have one that comes with a cup holder and cable management features.
Bedside Caddy for those who don’t work at desks.
Lingerie Bag to not loose or damage delicates in the washing machines.
Laundry Bag/Hamper. Get the backpack version; it’s most convenient for taking dirty stuff to another floor or building.
Over the Door Hanger living in a small room for ten months out of the year means every single space must be well-used.
Shower Caddy to take your toiletries to showers. Make sure that it can hang over a divider or door.
Shower Speaker is not necessary but breaks the monotony of that activity.
First Aid Kit – buy a kit or put it together yourself.
Tool Kit with screwdrivers large and tiny, pliers etc. The owner of a rubber mallet will be one of the most popular students on the floor.
A Television we’re iffy on getting, since the laptop can take that role. HOWEVER, while the TV takes up space, if the student doesn’t use the desk, it can go there. And instead of causing the student to self-isolate like watching a laptop does, they actually get to be social and can invite people in to watch a big event. They can become very popular on big sports and awards nights. 36-42″ should fit on the desk.
LED string lights if you want to feel decorative in the simplest but impressive way. Run them along the ceiling, under the bed, around the desk, anywhere. Some rope light sets can change color with a remote control.
For the Desk
Printers are not needed because many campuses have printing centers where printing is free! But in a pinch, the student with the small printer in their dorm can become popular. Friends should buy them an energy bar to reimburse for the ink!
Basic School Supplies: pens, pencils, scissors, glue stick, markers, erasers, highlighters, permanent AND erasable markers, Post-its, paper clips, stapler, etc.
Tape: scotch tape, packing, duct tape. Duct tape can come in great colors now!
A Sheet of Stamps and Envelopes even if they only get used once to write a letter to grandparents
For Those Who Need a Lot of Privacy…
Going away to college is not always easy. It can be quite a transition to have a stranger for a roommate, to not be able to control the lighting and movement in the dorm room. Some people are very shy; others are introverted and need down time alone to recharge. Maybe someone can’t sleep if the sun comes up too early, or if their roommate is a nightowl, plays flashing video games or has to study all night. Also, some students may have a condition that makes them sensitive to too much stimulation. But students sharing rooms have to respect their roommate(s), and know there’s only so much that can be done within reason. Those are scenarios where students should consider getting a Bed Tent:
That’s it for the basic necessities… but there’s more! See Part III for the Go-Bag List.
* NOTE: Good Apples NYC may earn small commission from the products on this page if you decide to make a purchase by clicking on the specific link provided.
Dorm Packing Supply List for Incoming Freshmen Part I
The Absolutely Most Important Items to Bring To College
Not all students want to save money and commute to school from home; some who want a special major must attend a school further away. What should students and parents be sure to do, obtain or plan before going away to college? Now this is a good list that we could post every month.
NO JOKE: THESE ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT ITEMS THAT FRESHMEN MUST BRING TO COLLEGE — NOT KIDDING.
Now for items that are so distressing to think about, but parents and first years MUST get:
•Get a Durable Power of Attorney – even though the college student is still claimed as a dependent on tax returns (and is also covered by their parents’ health insurance policy and they don’t pay their own tuition), when the student reaches age 18, parents have no say about them in the world. So if a student does a study–abroad semester or is in college and needs legal and financial services (ie signing tax returns or accessing bank accounts), parents cannot legally sign for their young adult children without having a POA. Each state has different regulations, so make sure the POA applies for the state where the young adult is located as well as the state where their family’s home is. The student’s “agents” (that’s what parents or whomever is designated on the POA are called) should also have copies of the POA on their own cell phones and computers.
•Get a Healthcare Proxy (aka Medical Power of Attorney) – we continue discovering all the scenarios in which parents have no authority and can’t speak on behalf of their 18 year old. If an adult student has a medical emergency, parents cannot decide what kind of medical treatment the student can have! Make sure the proxy works for the home state as well as the state in which the student is located. Notice how a parent’s wishes don’t matter even though the 18-year old will still be covered by the parents’ health insurance for another eight years…?
•Different from the Healthcare Proxy is the HIPAA Authorization (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act). In addition to losing the ability to dictate medical treatment for an 18-year old, parents no longer have access to an 18-year old’s medical records and don’t even have to be told that something’s happened to the student. This means if a student falls ill, the nurse or doctor who picks up the phone cannot give parents information. The HIPAA Authorization can be customized so that certain private matters dealing with sex, drugs, mental health, or other issues can remain private. (for more details, use information here: https://www.consumerreports.org/health-privacy/help-your-college-age-child-in-a-medical-emergency/ )
•Must have a Living Will, which can be incorporated into either the Healthcare Proxy or the HIPAA. It gives instructions to the student’s agents as to what to do in a dire life or death situation.
These documents are upsetting to talk about (they’re upsetting to even write about here), but once filed and everyone has a copy, they never have to be discussed anymore until it’s time to change the POA agents on the forms.
Parents should consult an attorney for those documents, but there are sites that provide easy-to-complete templates so that parents can do it themselves, like Mama Bear Legal Forms: https://www.mamabearlegalforms.com/youngadult
•Make sure Vaccinations are updated, not just the COVID-19 series. This is mandatory. See link to this article for what students must have before stepping onto campus (no matter whether commuter or away, including traditional and non-traditional adult second career students). https://goodapplesnyc.com/prep-for-college-freshman-year-vaccine-boosters/
•Students should sign their college’s FERPA waiver to give parents access to the school portal so that parents can log in to pay tuition online and ensure the financials are in order. Without a specifically–stated FERPA, parents will never be able to see their child’s college transcript. Colleges can’t share it without student’s permission. But parents need to pay for school, so… you students must “FERPA them”.
Get these important documents. Breathe easy for the four years!
While we’re talking about transcripts, let’s pause a moment and make sure this gets done right…
•Definitely go over the Course Choices for the semester. Each class costs a pretty-penny, and there is a specific number of credits to reach graduation, so unfortunately the kids cannot have schedule-fillers (i.e. don’t take ceramics in freshman year if doesn’t fulfill a core requirement). Find out which school core required courses that everyone must take; then check the required courses within the major, and pay special attention to when those courses are offered. If a course is only offered in the spring semester, or every two years, plan accordingly! No one wants to spend money on an extra year of college just to take ONE course because you didn’t register for it in junior year and it isn’t available until the semester AFTER you were supposed to graduate!
Okay, let’s dive back into the serious must-haves:
• Pack Medicine and a List of Prescriptions and make sure the student knows what each bottle is for, the correct dosage and how they work. Kids are probably used to you putting two pills on a napkin next to their sick bed or a measured mini-cup of purple stuff, but now they’re on their own.
•Make a copy of the Eyeglasses Prescriptions just in case the student has to get a new pair made while away from home. The frames and lenses will cost enough; don’t add the expense of having to get another eye examination, too!
•Get a Small Safe to put medications, passport, emergency cash, home keys, etc. Something like this will work:
Example: small safe with tether. Lock around the bed leg or something heavy!
•Contact an insurance representative and get an Insurance Policy for the dorm or off-campus housing. Check if your insurance company covers the dorm or off-campus housing. Add it to the family policy. You need an Insurance Policy that will cover protection from theft, fire, flood, accidental damage etc to your room, computer, game console, cell phone, EarPods and other property. Typical homeowner’s insurance may only cover amounts up 10% of of the limit of property at home, meaning if you’re insured at home for up to $100,000 at home, a student’s property while away in the dorm will be covered up to $10,000 — after deductibles. Also, the policy may only cover fire or water damage, not breakage or theft.
However, if your current home policy does not extend to school, then dorm insurance will still be needed.
•Off-campus housing requires its own Renters’ Insurance Policy. Anything can happen, no matter how responsible the student is… or their friends… or their school… or their landlord.
•Get the student a Credit Card with a low spending limit. Cash may not always be the way to go; don’t recommend keeping a wad of cash in the safe anyway. Discover Card is a common first card for college students. MAKE SURE THEY ONLY CHARGE WHAT CAN BE PAID BACK IN FULL WHEN THE BILL ARRIVES NEXT MONTH! Good way to build up a credit score also.
•Arrange for the student to get a Bank Account with Debit Card that parents can fill remotely. Teach the student how to use the debit and credit cards responsibly in order to avoid identity theft!
Finally, there are two more important things that are must–have — and this will help the student’s pals and roommates.
Print out, save a screenshot on the computer and phone, email the following and save in an email folder AND put in the Contacts app:
• Crisis Hotline Contact Information Your child may never need it BUT within a group of classmates, one of their friends may need it one night.National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “help” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
•Roommates or pals should have their Friends’ Parent Contact Info. If something happens, they should contact school authorities and call the parents themselves.
Lastly, here is what University of Wisconsin-Madison asks for students to pack: “bring a sense of self, a sense of purpose, and a sense of humor.”
